Silent Treatments, Power Trips and Tips to Cope

Are you someone who is the recipient of a silent treatment? If so you totally understand the feeling of being devalued or feeling like someone’s playing with your head or feeling just overwhelmed and frustrated and angry and you have every right to be.

Prefer video? Watch here.

So let’s talk today about silent treatments and why they’re annoying, and

why people do them, okay? More importantly, how you can escape them so


Examples of silent treatments

Someone’s not answering your texts (and you know they’re getting your messages) and they’re just not answering their texts on purpose.

I’m not talking about people who might be at work and busy or dealing with kids and they’re busy with children I mean someone who you know has a certain amount of time or a certain pattern with their texting and suddenly they’re not texting you.

You know exactly when someone is ignoring you right so it’s someone who’s ignoring you through text it’s someone who you’re trying to have a relationship conversation or some kind of a conversation to bring closure or to work through a problem and they’re just sitting there in complete silence. You might even say to them, “do you have anything to say I’ve been talking for a while?”, and they may say, “what do you want me to say?”, or “nothing that I say is going to be right”, so they use a lot of different tactics to avoid answering the ultimate questions or getting to ultimate resolution. Yet, they have no problem throwing it back at you the minute you ask them to say something.

Another form of the silent treatment is giving sort of half answers so you’re saying to them “hey, you seem like you’re not feeling right, you are you mad or something?”, and they say no in a melodramatic way or short answers.

Conversation where your comments or questions do not provoke mutual warmth or answers that don’t initiate intimacy, are a hallmark of another form of silent treatment and punishment.

So, if you work really asking someone how do you feel and they really want it to get to some resolution and they want it intimacy with you they would say something like “well, I’m not really feeling good, I’m upset about something that you did”, or or even “I am upset about something I’d rather just have some space and get back to you later”, so when someone is actually shutting down anything or any form of future conversation with you they are giving you a silent treatment.

This is also someone who you’re always calling them but they’re never calling you or someone who always has to get off of the phone or someone who is never coming to you to visit you or to help you in any way shape or form but you’re always doing things for them now that might be that you’re enabling them.

There could be a lot of reasons for some of these situations that are bringing up but overall you know if someone is giving you a silent treatment why are they doing this because they’re being controlling don’t believe for a second otherwise.

If they’re if they usually text you every hour or you know that they live with their phone in their hip or their hand and suddenly they’re not texting you at all and it’s a dicey situation…it’s a silent treatment.

People who are using control and manipulation {and believe it or not unless someone is blowing up your phone with anger and you have not agitated them now there’s a passive-aggressive issue on the other side of this} hear me out —sometimes people will agitate the other person just to get a reaction and then when that person reacts then this person steps back with a silent treatment!

Why do they call it a silent treatment?

It’s actually something that was used in prisons many many years ago and what they would do in prisons is they would actually take the inmate and not talk to the inmate at all. They would put the inmate in a situation where nobody could actually respond to that inmate sort of like solitary confinement but worse because you could actually see people around you.

No one was allowed to speak to you so being ignored is detrimental to our overall health and happiness; and that in a prison sense was something that was used as a form an alternative actually to physical punishment.

Sometimes emotional abuse can be worse than some physical abuse so treating someone like this is an actual form of punishment.

It’s manipulating.

It’s controlling.

It’s meant to be hurtful

Even if the person that is giving you the silent treatment has had a rough life and yadda-yadda all of that stuff don’t feel bad for them if they’re doing this to you. Don’t feel like you need to break through their exterior wall you don’t have to break through anything when someone is doing that they’re looking for attention from you.

When someone is giving you a silent treatment and they’re shutting down …you’re getting more and more upset you might start crying, over eating, go into depression; there there could be a million different coping strategies that you start reverting to.

Trust me when I say that person that’s giving you the silent treatment wants that to happen I don’t care what they say I don’t care if they say oh well I just didn’t feel like talking at that time or I didn’t know what to say to you or whatever don’t believe it

When someone is giving you giving you the silent treatment — even if it is their “coping strategy” it’s not good once you bring it to someone’s attention that that’s something that they’re doing that is hurting you they need to get help they need to open a book they need to watch a video they need to go to therapy they need to do something to address that issue.

It’s not your problem.

For more information on how to deal with a Silent Treatment, here is a video (some of the information in the beginning will be a repeat of the above).

Silent Treatment Power Trips (and Tips to Cope)

About the Author Paiva

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