Anger is one of the most interesting emotions that I see in my practice.
While some clients hide behind anger to not touch their fear or discomfort, others deny it, claiming to never feel it or at least to not feel it in their present situation - which always is one in which one would actually see anger as appropriate and healthy.
Anger is also one of those emotions that often mean something else. It often is connected to a lack of "something else".
Perhaps a lack of love, a lack of respect, a lack of consideration, a lack of responsibility. The list could go on, but as you might notice, it is often in that space of emotional anemia that we find anger surfacing.
While a normal emotion, women especially, are taught that it's not nice to be angry. Patronizing words such as "Don't be angry, you are prettier when you smile" have been said to many women, even in the workplace. This would never be said to a man, as his anger would be justified. Women's anger is also called "PMS" or might be stated that "It must be her time of the month", or ....worse. Little girls are told to not be "little princesses" while little boys are said to be "just boys being boys", when angry.
While this might not have been your family messages, it certainly has been societies message, and that is our environment. As I have said often, our environment shapes us.
If I were making a recipe for a dish of depression or unwanted physical responses, I would add at least a tablespoon of anger to the pot, and wait until it came to a boil. Then, I'd turn the burner off and just watch it simmer.
That's how powerful anger is. It's the ingredient for many of our symptoms.
It is why I focus so much on the act of forgiving, in almost every area of my work (and life).
Have you ever been in a situation where a boss, lover, teacher, parent, sibling, friend or other person has wronged you but, you were not able to or allowed to, express your anger, in the guise of "not making waves" or some other reason? That was unrepressed anger. Unless you worked through it emotionally, rather than letting time "heal", it probably is still sitting within you in some way.
A bit ago I talked about the recipe for unwanted physical responses; well, the end result, on the silver platter, especially for women, is a rash. An "angry" rash. Hot flashes. Rashes at the bra line, at the neck. Like a volcano ready to erupt, but, the only thing to erupt tends to be the skin.
- "Frown" wrinkles
- Hot flashes and sweating, with sensitive skin
- Increased allergies
These are the areas that I feel might be, sometimes, brought on by buried anger.
While hormones are to blame in some cases, I can't help but think that some women coast through their menses and their menopause, without a hiccup. Yet, others do not. Perhaps while there are many cofactors, one of them is that some women have repressed and unexpressed anger, that is actually creating hormone upheaval and imbalance.
Maybe the root issue of some skin issues, especially in women, is not so much that they are women with a female biology, but an angered person who is unable to express thus, unable to properly heal.
If this sounds like you, be sure to grab my(free) 3-part metaphysical anxiety series to get you on the road to better understanding your emotions and managing them, as well.
Also, my (free)starter kit is great for addressing wellness with a shopping list and easy to follow recipes.
An idea to begin right now, to release anger.
Take a brisk walk and clear your mind. You'll burn some adrenaline and boost your immune system, raise a set of hormones that boost mood and give your body empowered movement. Take that energy that is under the surface and distribute it!