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Reflections

The Torment (that no one talks about) of Skin Struggles


....We fill the emptiness by misguided self-care, which may take the form of overeating, over loving or other forms of "care" that are actually self-sabotaging our psyche' and, our skin.
The Torment (that no one talks about) of Skin Struggles

by Michele Paiva

March 29, 2018


Skin struggles seem to be a taboo topic. 

I see tons of advertising on skin products and cosmetics, and they all claim to help with skin struggles and do point them out - but they call them "unsightly" and "embarrassing".

That's not nice, is it? 

There is a torment to having a skin struggle, be it a break out or a condition.

There is this unspoken message that having a breakout or eczema, is "dirty" in some way, and we should hide it from others.

This is not only ridiculous but it's also dysfunctional. 

The very worst thing, is that we are crying out for nurturing, for love, for understanding and healing - emotionally and physically - and hiding in a shroud of shame, and self-blame.

I've heard clients say "Why do I have to LOOK like this? Why ME?"

Love is important, and a basic need. We might have had a mother who was brought up in a tough environment, perhaps poor, or like my mother, in an orphanage. They might not have known how to show love the way that we really needed, but they did their best. Meanwhile, their best, while appreciated, wasn't enough. 

My mother herself, learned to give love, but from what she told me, it was a rough road for sure. She felt insecure and always was seeking a mother figure in her life. Her friendships were important and she instilled in me the importance of strong, solid friendships that were respectful, warm and not judgmental.

You may or may not have had this experience. If you have felt impoverished and struggling for love, for respect, for being nurtured emotionally, then when feeling unwell, physically stressed or battling a skin condition, is going to cause overwhelm.

We fill the emptiness by misguided self-care, which may take the form of overeating, over loving or other forms of "care" that are actually self-sabotaging our psyche' and, our skin.

All of this can weigh on you. 

Make you feel alone.

Isolated.

Unattractive.

Maybe all you see is the acne, wrinkles, rash or dry skin, not "you".

All you want is: 

  • to get rid of dry skin
  • to get rid of wrinkles
  • to get rid of acne
  • to get rid of a rash

But what you need, is to get rid of self-loathing.

What I want you to do is this. Take time for yourself. Do not fall prey to the illusions of love or protection, but rather to the reality of love that is respect filled and in a space of abundance, not deprivation. 

When you give yourself time, focus on lifting shame, you might notice your skin becoming more supple and clear.  If not, you will at least be in a better space to honor yourself with attention that helps instigate healing, as a new way of life.

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