When we think of narcissists or manipulators, we often think of ourselves as victims.
Have you ever noticed how many narcissists have troubled skin? They are the bully and, the bullied, believe it or not. They didn't get "that way", because life growing up was great.
Maybe you suffered at the hands of a bully, manipulator or narcissist as well.
You might have felt out of control.
You might have noticed that growing up, while everyone might have seemed so different in your life, that ultimately, they let you down in some way; often in the form of betrayal or manipulation.
When you are around someone self-centered, your needs and desires are always secondary or, nonexistent. This includes how you rank with the narcissistic or manipulating parent.
The parent who is envious of others.
Who has something to say about everyone.
The person who complains about even the nicest person, making up false accusations and trying to make others look badly.
You might have learned to not fully trust people. Perhaps you've given your heart away and you have been burned too many times.
People who are not offered respect as a child, find it hard to expect it as an adult.
Sometimes, they just attract more self-centered people. Sometimes, they become the self-centered person as a way to cope.
Often, be it the narcissist or the victim, the skin-result is a "keep away from me" response.
The way people sometimes protect themselves is the body-mind speaking for them; with excessive weight gain, warts or hives.
Understand that if you've been called "manipulating" and you know you are a good person, then you should assume that you are using some tactics that are both protecting you and, getting you what you need or desire. You do not mean harm, but simply crave love.
Many people who are hurt, create verbal sparring, and take the tools such as gas lighting or shaming, as a way to get their needs met. Believe it or not, skin conditions can be a non-verbal and quite unpleasant reaction to unmet needs; regardless of if you are the victim or victimizer.
Meditation is a great way to focus on what you really need and want, and giving you the space to slowly create your own needs and desires, rather than looking outside of yourself.
Many clients find that as they relax into their integrity and increase self-respect, the respect that they may never have received from parents, that their weight, skin struggles and relationships, all improve.