Written By Guest Expert, Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat, MD, FACOG
The relationship we have with your job or career can greatly affect our overall health, and especially your fertility. Our job or career has many definitions including volunteer work, being a homemaker, or what you do for a paycheck.
Regardless of what we do, it is important that we like it, and even more, that it provides satisfaction. If it is a paying job, we should feel adequately compensated for our work. Unhealthy job situations include:
• No longer enjoying what you do.
•You are unable to make ends meet with your earnings.
•You are in a situation with little job security, living from paycheck to paycheck.
•Your job does not offer you health insurance or does not contribute to a retirement plan.
• You are having problems with a co-worker or your boss.
• You live in fear of being laid-off. If any of the above applies to you and you are feeling stuck in a job or career will bring on stress.
Negative stress occurs when you feel a lack of control over a particular situation. Not coping well with stress will cause you to be overburdened.
Signs of being overburdened are: anger, anxiety, denial, depression, exhaustion, sexual problems, memory problems, sleeping difficulties, fatigue, irregular bleeding, irritability, insomnia, and social withdrawal.
And if you are trying to get pregnant, too much stress will decrease your chance of ovulating, get pregnant, increase the risk of a miscarriage, and preterm labor.
It will also decrease the effectiveness of fertility drugs and assisted reproductive technology – ART such as IVF and IUI. In order to take control of your life, you will need to create healthy boundaries with your work and do things, from now on, because you WANT to—not just because you HAVE to.
What is a healthy boundary? The word “boundary” is defined as “an indicated border or limit.”
Adults with healthy boundaries have developed an identity distinct from others, and know their acceptable limits regarding responsibility to nurture someone else’s personal and spiritual growth. Having healthy boundaries at work involves doing something that you like, being part of a team, and the needs of all of those involved are being met without intimidation or guilt.
Being able to set healthy boundaries at work includes the following.
• Doing something that is most suitable to you, not because it brings home the bacon. • Getting paid adequately for what you do.
• Being able to know your own needs, wants or even feelings and being able to express them.
• You know when your needs are not being met.
• You clearly have a sense/definition of self. It is not what you do for others, or who others want you to be.
• You gladly do what is expected of you without being resentful about it and subsequently stressed out, and being plagued with emotional and physical symptoms.
• You have no difficulty saying no when more is expected of you. • You rely on your own opinion and intuition rather to follow the ideas of others.
• You are not afraid to express yourself for fear of losing your job.
• You trust your intuition when it is time to make decisions. How to set healthy boundaries in your job or career In order to be able to create healthy boundaries, you need to:
• Have a good sense of self and what it is you truly need/want from your work. Part of this first self-awareness step is figuring out healthy mental, emotional and physical limits for yourself.
• If you have issues with self-esteem and are still dealing with scars from childhood abuse, you will need to heal those wounds.
It may take some time, but it can be done.
Those raised in dysfunctional environments will develop survival skills that will translate into adult behaviors that may need adjusting.
• Take an inventory of all what you are presently doing at work.
Be honest whether or not you are being treated with respect, and if your needs are being met.
• Define what you NEED to have in your job or career.
• Write down both the positive and the negative aspects of your present job or career, then what you feel that you need, and what should be changed.
In many instances, your relationship involving a job or career that help you pays your bills can be very complex. While you are trying to improve yourself, you may find yourself doing something that you may have chosen unconsciously to help identify and heal your wounds. It can be painful.
Working with a counselor or a coach may be necessary. Learning good communication skills is a must in order to express your needs, establish your boundaries, and to be able to speak up when others are not treating you in an acceptable way.
Setting healthy boundaries with any type of relationship is a lifelong process of learning and growth. But it is very important so you can live a stress-free life; increase your chance of getting pregnant and delivering a healthy baby.
Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat, MD, FACOG is a board-certified Ob-Gyn, fertility specialist, and a gifted medical intuitive, energy and spiritual healer with over four decades of experience who has helped many dealing with fertility issues get pregnant naturally. She intuitively knows the underlying reasons why you’re not getting pregnant. You can use her services via telephone or you can spend time with her in her sacred garden in the Mount Helix area of San Diego, CA if you want to experience her healing in person. www.drcarolle.com firstname.lastname@example.org