(Transcribed from podcast)
Let’s talk about understanding human weakness and how to stop saying “yes” all of the time.
Especially if you’re dealing with a narcissist or someone who has taken advantage of you, what could it feel like and what are they doing?
This is going to be more so for you to observe. When you can observe these behaviors, you can actually distance from them. You can’t distance from something that you don’t understand, right?
So let’s get to it.
We need to think about …are you really tired of being deceived? Or, now hear me out, is it serving you if you continue to be deceived by other people?
I had this in my life, so I am totally open about talking about it. If you are continually being deceived, you get to be a victim. I had this for a long time in my life, and it really was horrible. I want you to learn from my mistakes. Also, on a professional level, I’ve seen so many clients really deal with this and they’ve come up on the other side, so I want to help you as well.
(1) First, I want you to really look at the faces and the lives of people who are yes people. These are the people that can’t say no.
Now, you might be one of them.
I want you to not be a yes mess.
I want you to think about the people that are always saying yes.
This might be you again. You might feel like you’re being pathetic.
You might feel taken advantage of.
You might feel like you’re tired all of the time.
You might feel meek or foolishly surrendering to people you don’t even know or like, or organizations or entities that you just don’t really feel that passionate about.
Even if you do, maybe you don’t have the time to devote to these people or entities or corporations or nonprofits or schools or whatever.
Understand that when you are constantly surrendering your energy, you’re going to be exhausted. And guess what?
For many people, this happens a lot.
As soon as they get rid of one source of exhaustion, they will replace it with another source of exhaustion.
For me personally, what happened to me as I was working with a bunch of people who actually did not treat me with respect at all, and I got out of that environment. And then I started working on my own. Now, this is years and years ago- over 30 years ago. I started working on my own as an entrepreneur. I was very young. It was tough.
But guess what I did. I actually would attract clients that would not respect me!
So what was the difference? Whether I’m working for someone else or whether I’m an entrepreneur if I am giving out this signal, “Hey, don’t respect me,” I’m going to get exactly what I deserve at that moment, and that is not to be respected.
When I say that I didn’t deserve it, it’s because I’m the one that was wearing that costume of “Hey, don’t respect me.” So it took me to learn to take off that costume and step into my truth.
Now, when you have that — when you understand that you are face to face, looking at yourself in the mirror, and you are revealing that you are a yes mess, I want you to stop and I want you to become a no -body (not to be confused with a “nobody”.
Again..a giant NO body, so a spiritual body that says no, a no body. That’s what I want you to think about.
You are a spiritual self, that is not going to say yes to anything that doesn’t serve your soul.
You want to pretend that you are also ensuring that your soul, this beautiful energy you are, is filled with vitality. If you give and give, you won’t have that vitality. You won’t have it for you or those that you love.
Saying “yes” too often is a spiritual albatross. You can’t allow yourself to gasp for energetic air and feel good at the end of the day. Instead; find at least three things right now that require your pressing attention that have to do with you only. Perhaps it is your need for more sleep. Or you need to cook healthy food for yourself. Maybe reach out to a positive friend, or go to your spiritual center – a church, temple, sangha, whatever it might be.
If you say yes to anything that is not helping you to get into these spaces that you need; get the visual of being a “Yes Mess”… like frayed knot. Instead, a NO body- a cloud-like mist, that is there for positivity only, is your goal. A mist that can be reenergized and spark creativity, love and vitality.
Comment below the three areas of your life that you need to focus on, to stay away from being a Yes Mess Stress.